“new york city. center of the universe.”

Sorry if I bore you by having the same title as my album on facebook.

You can’t go and not take a photo, I guess.

tile stores! What FUN. It was pretty fun though. I mean, if ever you were to be bored in a tile store, this is the tile store to be bored in.

And my personal favorite, the Jonathan Adler store.

And a room in the second tile store that for some reason scared the shit out of me. I walked in and I felt abandoned and lost and uncomfortable.

Lunch at Le Singe Vert in Chelsea.

From the bathroom window..

One night I couldn’t sleep. So I took photos out of our hotel window…

…we were on the 27th floor, I think…

…watched the taxis zooming around…

…fell in love with the rooftops…

…was blinded by the light from Herald Square…

…and imagined what my life would be like living in the apartment buildings I watched…

…as the taxis continued to zoom…

…and my photography slowly became more and more…


For photos of my shopping finds, click this!


Summer is almost over.

And it’s high time I talk a little about what’s been going down.

This summer has been the most life changing of my life.  It didn’t really start in summer, though.  It started with Arsenic and Old Lace spring term.  Being surrounded by senior actors, I felt both reassured of my own ability, and still was taught so much.  After school got out, I went to France for a month.  It was incredibly empowering to be able to get by speaking a different language and to be turned loose in Paris.  Then Jen came to visit, which was so much fun, and such a blast from the past.  Then I pulled my first all nighter with Emlyn.  Then my cousins came up and we had too much fun.

Then CTY.  This year at CTY has taught me so much.  It taught me that I am appreciated, which in turn makes me want to appreciate the world so much more.  It taught me that boys do, in fact, chill out after a while.  It taught me that humans can be pretty awesome.  It taught me to like, to love, to well-I-guess-I-don’t-hate-her-that-much, and how to write an essay, of course.

So.  That.  On another note, I have read SO much this summer.  Little Children by Tom Perotta.  The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger.  Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams.  Old School by Tobias Wolff.  1984 by George Orwell.  Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? by Edward Albee.  Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu.  And I am intent on reading Still Life With Woodpecker by Tom Robbins and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson is required for school.

I also have to take a look at precalculus and french stuff before the school year starts.  But I am so ready to get back to school so I can get back to theatre.

Which reminds me I have to find an audition piece.  Crap.


Visiting Hampshire College

As you may have known, my two cousins are in town. One of them really wants to go to Hampshire, and since we are in the area, we decided to visit. It was wonderful! The campus (despite the slightly painful 1970s architecture) was really beautiful, and it was nice to see dad at his old (if not short) stomping ground (he taught there in the 70s for 3-4 years, apparently).

The philosophies behind some of what they do make so much sense. My favorite part was where you don’t actually get grades, but each professor you have writes up a 3-4 page evaluation of your work/year in their class. And as for me, I start hyperventilating ten minutes before my 7-10 line comments go up at the end of each term, I love them so much. I think it makes so much more sense. Some might say it is just a way to provide excuses for a bad grade or something like that, but if you do get a bad grade, they admit to it. An example our info session leader used was that if you get As on papers and then one C, it averages to maybe an A- and nobody ever knows about the C, which in some cases is good, but in most cases means you had some sort of a learning experience that shows growth and mistakes, which shows that you are human. I think that’s great. Grad school admissions people might disagree, however.

The thing about a place that is so chill/self-motivated is I would do one of two things: I would either procrastinate all the time, spend too much time eating and sleeping and lounging on the gorgeous quad, or I would sign up for a million different things, take as many classes as I could, and have my head explode from the madness of it all. Besides, I sort of like structure and tradition in academic institutions. Call me old-fashioned, I dare you.

So for all its awesomeness, for all the appeal that it had, when I really think about it, I don’t think it’s the place for me. That said, I am a rising sophomore, so things could change. I would love it if things changed and I became more self-motivated. That would just be dandy.

Then again, I don’t even know if I am self-motivated or not. The academic challenges I have approached so far have all been pretty much mandatory. I have never had a project that I had to do the research on, that I had to complete from start to finish, at least not to my memory. Mum could probably remind me of a few but that’s her job, to encourage me, so maybe it doesn’t count. I dunno.

Lately I have felt rather average when it comes to my academic performance. I’m not sure why. I mean, I finished with As in all of my classes, and that’s all well and good..it’s just I feel like if I had devoted myself to my studies a bit more in the past year, I could have improved all of my grades by a lot. The ironic part is, my best work emerged when I was the busiest, spring term during Arsenic. I’m like that though. There’s a fine line for me between not enough work and too much work, and depending on the side, I either get absolutely nothing done ever, or I excell, respectively.

But now it is 2:06 and I have to get up in the morning to make crepes for my family, so I ought to stop rambling about myself and school which doesn’t even start up again for 2 months.

Good night!

^^above referenced painful 1970s architecture


Mes Photos de la France/Camera/Packing for Camp

You probably don’t read this if you aren’t friends with my on Facebook.  But just in case, here are some choice photos (out of the near 500 I took and the 300 I uploaded to FB) of the trip.  Artsier shots, I if I dare say so myself.  Yes they are on flickr.  Yes I once said that I was swearing of flickr.  BUT.

Last night my mother ordered me a new camera; not just that, but a new camera that is supposedly the best point and shoot out there at the moment.

I am very very excited.  My old camera had a busted flap to the battery area (it stopped closing all the way quite a few months ago), the lense cover stuck sometimes, it’s heavy, fat, etc etc.  It sucks because it takes a damn good photo, but it just isn’t physically practical anymore.  So annnywaay, here is my new baby.  I am praying that it gets here within the next week aka before I head to camp (more about that later).

It’s a Canon PowerShot SD780 IS.  You may have seen ads for them in various fashion magazines (!!!!!).  It comes in four colors.  It’s the lightest of the lightest, small small small, and has 12 megapixels (which my dad says is just a marketing ploy but still).

I am unable to handle the suspense.  This will be my first new camera in about 4 years.

So Camp.  Starts in a week.  Another thing I am excited about beyond words.  And because I have no words, and because I need to start packing before my cousins get here from Pennsylvania (they are staying here the entire week, right up to the day before I leave at the crack of dawn) I should go do that now.


Conflicted and Confused

You know me and my guilt issues?  Yeah?

So recently I have been feeling like I want to go over to posting primarily on my culture/fashion blog and make it a bit more active.  But I would feel so bad abandoning this one, even though it has no readers, so i would basically just feel bad about abandoning Anna and my mother, and I also would feel like I was backing out of trying to explain myself to some degree.  But I suppose that if I did slow down on this one, I would be a lot less offensive, and a little more mysterious (or something).  But then, I don’t even know if I was offensive in the first place, or mysterious at all ever.  Also, my thoughts these days are getting a lot more complex and difficult to put into words, and on top of complexity, they are getting a lot more personal.

I was looking back over some old posts.  When I started this up, all I did was complain about annoying teachers, consider a handful of philosophical aspects of my 13 year old life, and post pictures of really cute puppies.  Now, I can’t focus on all the shit that is running through my head at any given moment without just wanting to explode and cry and laugh and throw things that break against a wall.

But maybe this is exactly the kind of post that I need to get out there.  Maybe if I just throw out quick little dashes of my life, more frequent, less lengthy, maybe that could revive my interest.  Maybe I could make a time and date each week to just give a stream of consciousness post.  That might be a good idea.

“we are mysterious creatures aren’t we? and at the end so much of it turns out not to matter.”
I am learning two Amelie pieces on the piano.  And listening to lots of music.
Oh.  By the way, I’m back from France.  Will probably throw up some summarizing posts on my experiences at some point.  Hopefully before Jen gets here on Monday because if its not by then, it will never happen.


I’m in France.  Right now.  LAWL.  If there are any ridiculous typos forgive me, its these damn keyboards that are all different.  How dare they.  I wonder what makes the differencesyou know?  Like, why azertyuiop instead of qwertyuiop?


So there isnt much to say because if I was going to say anything it would take for EVER.  When I get back I will post several posts sort of accounting a little bit of the trip.  I write in my journal what I do every day but that would be too much so I will summarize.  But you will all have to wait for that.  All I will tell you is I am eating lots of good food and seeing lots of interesting people and exploring the City of Tours as much as I can.  Oh, and I am proud to announce that after not having ridden a bike for 2 or 3 years, I hopped onto one on Friday and rode a total of about 16 miles.  And my legs don’t ache.

Soo that be about it.  For now.  I am here for a few more weeks.  We are going to Normandy next weekend and then the weekend after that we leave Tours for Paris for 5 days and then home we go.  I am blogging tonight because for some reason I am suddenly homesick.  I havent been homesick the entire trip, I am again proud to announce, but tonight is different.  Maybe because dinner was less formal and more like how our meals are back home.

Anyway.  Love to you all.




About my last post…

It has come to my attention that some were offended by my last post listing some complaints.

Although I obviously will not back down on certain opinions I hold, please understand that that post was a vent.  I was angry: I typed and hit publish.  Everybody has the right to vent sometimes.  If you were hurt by it, please forgive me.  I meant no harm, it was just (as they say in Mean Girls) “word vomit” and if anything should be taken as humor, if possible.

Hope that clears some things up.

“Death keeps no calendar”–English Proverb

November 2017
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“Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever... it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.”--Aaron Sisking

“When the Devil quotes Scriptures, it’s not, really, to deceive, but simply that the masses are so ignorant of theology that somebody has to teach them the elementary texts before he can seduce them”–Paul Goodman

“Nonsense and beauty have close connections.”--Marquis de Sade

“This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections.”--Saint Augustine

" i hope someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight and that's all they do. they don't pull away, they don't look away, they don't try to kiss you. all they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight without an ounce of selfishness to it."--Waitress

“I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live."--Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

“It is not my mode of thought that has caused my misfortunes, but the mode of thought of others”--Marquis de Sade